and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
