the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
