i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
