Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
