I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
