Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
