Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
