from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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