Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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