I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
