I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
