We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
