i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
