She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
