It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
