Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
