He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
