38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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