i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
