On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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