so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
