apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
