what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
