made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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