I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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