dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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