I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
