just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
