I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
