Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
