What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
