Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
