where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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