One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
only if we run a train.
done.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
