im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
