i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
