There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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