they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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