seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
