i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
