she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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