I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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