We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
