Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
