jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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