i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
