just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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