hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
