I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
