The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sorry about my life...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
