I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
