Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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