i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
